Now, let me elaborate. When I say that there is such a thing as a bad question, this is mainly to do with how it is phrased. When you get a reading, you want the best experience possible. However, the question is really the foundation. A lot of people will make very common mistakes when asking a question, and even though some readers will work with them, it will not be as insightful as it could be. Asking good questions is the start of a great experience! In this post, I will be going over the different mistakes that people tend to make, and how to correct them!
Disclaimer: Some readers may enjoy answering these types of questions. This is perfectly fine and I am not trying to insinuate that they are a bad reader for accepting them. However, I do encourage them to think about how limiting some questions can be compared to others. I, personally, feel that if a reader works amazingly with these types of questions I am about to fix, they can do wonders with the ‘better’ questions.
Also, know that I do mean there is no such thing as a bad question! The topics of the question will not be discussed. There are some topics I avoid, and some topics I love. This is different for every reader, and that is something I find amazing.
Open-Ended vs Closed-Ended Questions
When you ask your question, it is important to leave the question open-ended. The difference? Asking a closed-ended question, you are really limiting what you can get back. At most, you can get a response, and why. For example, “Yes, you should ask about x because yz could happen.” Great. Now, if you’re lucky, the reader may also dive into how. Anything more than the answer and why, and the reader is giving you more than what you asked for. By asking an open-ended question, you can really leave room for the reader to explore and help you the best they can, and in how you need it! Open-ended does not mean general!
A good example of an open-ended question would be “How would my new promotion affect my life?” This question leaves room for the reader to explore. Instead of asking what area in your life would your new promotion affect the most, which only leaves room for that area and why, you are opening it up for how certain areas would be affected. This gives the reader room to not only talk about how an area in your life would be affected the most, but also how another area will be affected the least, and all of it in between!
First-Person vs Third-Person
Now, I know that I spoke about how I am not fond of third-party readings due to ethical reasons, which you can read up on here, but I am also not for them in the sense that it is a bad question to ask. Let’s take a scenario. You ask how this person feels about you, and you get the answer. Great! Now what? What are you going to do with this information? If you are going to ask about what someone else is going through or thinking, and you get the answer, what are you going to do with that information? The reason these are bad questions is that it does not guide you on how to act on the situation, but just gives you more information on what the situation is which is something you can, and should, do on your own.
By turning the question to you, you can really get more out of the reading! Instead of asking how this person feels about you, maybe ask for things you can do to improve your relationship with them. This could include how to communicate better, how to build your confidence within the relationship, and can even include what is going well and how to support and build on that! The point is, this type of question now gives you the opportunity to act on it!
Insight vs Guessing Games
When will I get married? How many kids will I have? Will I get the promotion? When will I die? These are all bad questions because like with third-party questions, these questions give you no room for action! As a reader, I know it feels great when you can accurately predict something in the future, but there is not much to do on that. Sure, that means we can expect it, but it would be so much more productive to ask for insight on the situation, instead of asking if or when!
By asking for insight, you can work towards the outcome you desire! The future is not set in stone, so why ask for an outcome which can change? Instead of asking for the reader to play a guessing game with you, why not ask the reader for guidance in the right direction. Think of it as looking at a map. Would you check the map where you will end up if you make that right turn? You could, but it would be so much better if you just looked at the map to find out the best and most efficient route for where you want to go. Also, you can still get that satisfaction of “Wow! That reader really got that right!” without the guessing-games.
Advice vs Instructions
This is more about why you are asking the question! Divination should be used for advice, and you may be wondering what is the difference. The difference is that when you are asking for instructions, that is pretty much a step-by-step guide to get to where you want to go. When you think instructions, think recipes! You would go to a certain place to get your recipes like a cookbook or the internet, and these recipes ask you to follow this step-by-step to get a certain outcome! This would mean the outcome will be the same no matter what. If you follow the recipe perfectly, you will get your desired product.
However, when it comes to divination, it is not like baking a cake. What the tools tell you now may not be the same in the future. Things change. If something gets in your way, like the oven breaking, how will you bake that cake? When you ask for advice, you are not asking for a step-by-step guide. You are asking “what is the most effective way to get what I want?” In terms of baking, you won’t look for a recipe to find out how to make your eggs fluffy or the most efficient way to decorate- you look for tips! Think of divination as asking for the tips-and-tricks of the trade. Divination is advice, and you do not have to follow it exactly, but it can give you an idea of what your best course of action may be.
W5H – Your checklist To Asking Better Questions
W5H stands for Who, What, Why, When, Where, and How. Let’s dive in.
Who is involved in your question? Like I said, it is best for the subject to be yourself. If you are asking how to improve your relationship (professional, platonic, family, or romantic) with someone, keep that number down. The answer will be very general if you are asking about a, b, c, x, y, and z. However, grouping is also a thing! Instead of a specific person, maybe a specific group! Friend group, office, in-laws, even though there are multiple people in those groups, it counts as one- but they will also be treated as one.
What are you asking about? What is the topic? Did you look to see if the reader is comfortable with the said topic? Is it only one topic? If not, find which is more important to you and stick to it. One question means stick to one topic. Now, when I say topic I do not mean areas. If the topic is health, you can ask for a general checkup for mental, emotional, physical, even spiritual health! Those are all one topic. However, don’t ask about health and career!
Why are you asking this question? Really look into this. Does this question imply you want a playbook on what to do, or do you want guidance? Is this question going to help you? Why are you including x detail? Is it important? Leave it out if not. Remember that the best type of reading is where you are looking for advice.
Why is When important? Think about it! Once you realize why the when of the situation is important to you, adapt. If you do not want to graduate ‘late’, instead of asking “When will I graduate?” maybe ask “How can I motivate myself to keep the momentum so I can graduate as soon as I can?” When questions I find really hold us back because we can miss opportunities, or force them to the point it becomes ingenuine. It will happen when it happens. Let it be and focus on preparing yourself.
Are you asking for a where? Why is that important to you? If you are asking between two wheres, think of why those ‘wheres’ are options, and then ask which reasons hold more value. Wher tends to be very closed when it comes to question-asking.
Focus on how you can do or avoid something! The best questions call for action on your part. Avoid trying to figure out what other people need to do- you cannot control that and trying to, which you should not, will only make you feel frustrated and overwhelmed.
Here are some example questions that real people have submitted, which I will rewrite to make them more productive.
“Does x love me?”
This type of question can be quite popular. The subject of this question is not the client getting the reading, but x. I would encourage this person to think “why do I find it important that x loves me?” or maybe even “in what way can I secure a relationship with x in a way that will benefit both of us?”
Also, the question is very much closed-ended and leaves no room for the reader to explore your situation to help you the best they can! By making the question open-ended, you give the reader more room to really help you with the situation.
“Is xyz/Diety trying to reach me?”
This is a closed-ended question and therefore limits the amount of room the reader has to help you and your situation. Again, think of why you are asking. Did you feel you are getting signs? Maybe ask for advice on how to act on them. Do you really want to work with this entity? Ask how to go about that.
“Should I put in for this promotion that I might not get?”
This question does carry an element of action- to an extent. This is only if the reader says yes. If you shouldn’t, then what? You are back at square one, or maybe you have a plan b which will be brand new territory.
A better question to ask would be figuring out how to properly prepare for a promotion or asking for the best way to boost your career life.
“I am having an issue with someone at work, how can I navigate it?”
This is an example of a good question! I like how the focus is on how you will navigate the situation, for this really focuses on acting on your part!
Also, by asking how to navigate the situation, you leave room for the reader to give you more options and paths. For example, you allow the reader to say “avoiding x topic can be a start, however, if that becomes impossible you can do y!”