Third-Party readings seem to be very popular when it comes to questions a Querent may ask, but what exactly are these kinds of questions? Why do some readers, including myself, refuse to do such readings?
Third-Party Questions are questions which have to do with a person who is not directly involved in the reading. An example situation is if the Querent asks a reader how someone else is feeling, what is bothering them, or anything that has to do with someone else. Some readers may have no issue with these kinds of questions, but others do. These are reasons why myself, and a few others, tend to avoid these inquiries.
Firstly, I find these readings unnecessary. Almost all of these questions can be answered by just communicating with this person. Now, some querents may respond with “but I tried asking them and they won’t tell me!” To me, that does not matter- they should respect the person’s wishes. I compare this to a person asking someone if they are allowed to read their diary, them saying no, so the person comes to me to ask me to read the diary to them. Creepy, right?
On that note, let’s say that communication may not answer this question. Let’s say the question is how a situation may work out for another person, or how this situation will affect them. While the intentions of this may be kind and/or genuine concern, there are better ways to come at the situation. Instead of focusing on the outcome (which in my practice, is not written in stone and they cannot control their friend’s actions, therefore, anything can happen) they should focus on what they can do in order to help the person they are wondering about.
This brings me to my next point. Every single one of these questions could be asked in a way in which it would no longer be third-party. What is the querent trying to get out of the information? What would they do with that information? Focus on that. Do they want to use the information to help a relationship which is falling apart? Then ask for ways they can work on themselves to improve the relationship. Do they want to help someone through a tough time by getting all the information on it? Then ask for ways they can help their friend. Want to use the information to be a better friend? Then ask how to be a better friend. Every single question, when you bring it down to intent, can be asked in a way that makes it no longer third-party.
Another reason I am against third-party readings is that there is a higher risk factor. If I give someone a reading for themselves, and I was wrong, then the person I read for can easily decide that I was inaccurate and go on with their life (or maybe be mad about wasting money if they paid me for it). If I were to get a reading that was third-party wrong, the Querent has no way of knowing if I was accurate or not. What if I told someone who needed to know what their partner felt about their relationship that their partner hated it and was possibly going to cheat. The Querent is now heartbroken and would not be able to assess the situation clearly and may not even consider that I could be wrong. What if the cards wanted to say that the partner felt like they were at the beginning of their relationship and I mistook it for him cheating? What if the cards were completely wrong in general? I could have possibly ruined a perfectly nice relationship because of a third-party reading considering the outcome could be very different if we were to focus on the Querent’s growth. Third-Party readings can ruin all sorts of relationships. While it may not always happen, the risk is there.
My final reason I avoid third-party readings is that I would hate if someone read their cards for me randomly without my consent. For me, it feels like an invasion of privacy and is basically a huge “F#^k you!” to my face. As mentioned above, they should communicate with me. Tarot is not an easy way out of communication. Also, I may not know their intentions with my information (just like readers will not know the intentions of the Querent). Sure, they claim that it is to help their friend out, but we cannot know for sure. Either way, it is an invasion of privacy and it should not be accepted just because they did not necessarily invade it themselves (however this goes for readers who draw and read cards for other people without permission, that’s not nice).
Pretty much, just don’t do it. It is not appreciated. Ask the person and make sure you are positive you have their consent to not only read the cards but share that information with whoever is asking. Also, know that just because the person gave you permission one time does not mean you can do so whenever you want. Respect their privacy.