This Always Happens To Me

(Safe Space Tags: Hurt, Sadness, Relationships)

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“It was sweet yet full of hurt, all at once. I conflict with myself asking if it really was worth it. Do I shun away? Do I fight it? Do I embrace it? So many questions running through my head. Fight or flight. Oh, I wish I could fly away, but my wings are broken. I am stuck in this mess of self-torture.

I was yet a swan, and it damaged me so deeply. My love and my trust within them was great, and they destroyed it in seconds. Was it not good enough for them? Did they feel they deserved better? How could I hold back knowing what might have been but never was? I know I shouldn’t, but I keep going. One more taste became many bites ago. I got a taste of what I have before me, I know what I feel towards it, yet I keep going, no matter how much it pains me.”

A friend sighed full of concern. “All this back and forth has made you fall deeper and deeper into yourself and at times I feel no matter how loud I scream, I cannot get a hold of you. Every bite, every time you push yourself forward to try and be the bigger person, you hurt more and more. Why do you continue to follow such patterns?”

“I thought things would change but it never does. Besides, it is all I have.”

—–

Title: This Always Happens To Me
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© Crescent Diviner 2017
Decks Used: Shadowscape Tarot, The Wild Unknown Tarot, The Witches Tarot
Safe Space Tags: Relationships, sadness, hurt

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